So I just wrote an extremely long blog here. I copied and pasted it to Microsoft Word. It was 4 pages long. I think that's too long for here.
It felt good to write it. It was a lot of venting about my mom. Long story short, my mom and I fight a lot and it really wears me down to the point that I can't really function for the rest of the day once we've had a fight. There was a lot more to it than that, but that was the basic idea. I still want to post it on here, but I saved it in Word because I'm nervous that if I do post it here, I'll regret it. At least if it is just in My Documents, I haven't made the conscious decision to put it out to the public. If somebody happens to read it, that's not my fault.
I know I sound like I'm complaining a lot about my mom (which I am) but it is more than that. It is me trying to make sense of why our relationship is the way it is. It is me trying to figure out why I care so much what my mom thinks of me and my actions/decisions/whatever.
Everybody else's blogs I read are all happy and up beat and stuff. Mine won't be like that. If you are reading this blog to see how happy go lucky somebody is, this is not the blog to read. Sure, some of my blogs are happy. I am hoping that most of them will be. But I'm not the kind of person who can be happy and full of energy all the time. There are things that really get me down, there are things that happen that make me sad, depressed, and cry. I will write about those things. I'm not afraid to share them. I will write about the crappy stuff that everybody thinks about, but nobody wants to write about or read about. Unfortunately, though, this blog is more for me than it is for you. This blog is real. It's not sugar coated (for the most part). Life is not sugar coated, why should my blog be?
Just being honest.
And just to be clear...
I really do love my mom... I just wish she made it a little easier to do.