Here is the play list I made the other day. Enjoy :)
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Saturday, October 30, 2010
october 26
The other day I tried to post my "Soudtrack to October 26" that I made and I couldn't figure out how to post a whole play list. I only managed to post one song. However, I just discovered "iMix" which is a way to publish your own play lists and share them online.
Here is the play list I made the other day. Enjoy :)
Here is the play list I made the other day. Enjoy :)
What do you got?
Yesterday I was listening to the radio and a new song came on the radio. I rarely change my radio from the three country stations in the area, but there was nothing good on those stations so I expanded my radio listening experience and I was pleasantly surprised.
The song is called "What Do You Got" by Bon Jovi. Yeah, that's right, Bon Jovi. Who, by the way, have pretty good songs.
Here's the chorus:
What do you got, if you ain't got love
Whatever you got, it just ain't enough
You're walkin' the road, but you're goin' nowhere
You're tryin' to find your way home, but there's no one there
Who do you hold, in the dark of night
You wanna give up, but it's worth the fight
You have all the things, that you've been dreamin' of
I tried to link to the song, but I don't know how to do it very well and it wasn't on the website I used for my last post. Anybody know a good site I can use to embed a song into a post?
The song is called "What Do You Got" by Bon Jovi. Yeah, that's right, Bon Jovi. Who, by the way, have pretty good songs.
Here's the chorus:
What do you got, if you ain't got love
Whatever you got, it just ain't enough
You're walkin' the road, but you're goin' nowhere
You're tryin' to find your way home, but there's no one there
Who do you hold, in the dark of night
You wanna give up, but it's worth the fight
You have all the things, that you've been dreamin' of
I tried to link to the song, but I don't know how to do it very well and it wasn't on the website I used for my last post. Anybody know a good site I can use to embed a song into a post?
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
a year ago today
A year ago today my world almost fell apart. My family almost collapsed and with it my entire world would have fallen apart and my life would have been changed forever. Today brings back those memories. We have all been dealing with the whole "situation" (for lack of a better word - and believe me, we have definitely talked about what to call "it" over and over, the subject has been talked to death - no pun intended) for the past year. Honestly, I don't think I have ever really talked about it. I don't think I've ever really cried about it or freaked out about it or dealt with it because I don't really know how to do any of that. I don't know how to bring up the subject, I don't know what to say or who to say it to.
All I can say right now is that today was tough. It was stressful and exhausting and I couldn't even think about anything that I wanted to think about (well actually didn't want to think about but had to think about for my own sanity and emotional strengthening). Actually, I didn't think about any of it until a Facebook status pulled in my attention and I got in my car to go for a drive and then a song came on the radio and the tears started falling. The song that came on was "Shape I'm In" by Joe Nichols. At that point my heart hurt so bad and I realized that I just can't do it alone anymore. I stopped at Michael's house and got a huge, much needed hug.
By the time I got home my face was tear streaked so Stephanie and I just sat around for a while and listened to music. Sad, depressing music. Happy, uplifting music. Hercules music. The Sound of Music music. And I made a "Soundtrack to October 26" play list so that I can listen to it and cry... or I can listen to it and feel happy that my life DIDN'T fall apart a year ago today and that we are all healing... together.
In addition, I have found a campaign to work on for my Senior Project for next quarter. I will write more on it later but it is relevant to this post because it is a campaign that will help me heal. It will be a creative and productive outlet for me to use as a means of healing and moving forward. Hopefully I can help others as well, and maybe save a few lives in the process. (Like I said, I will explain all this in a later post).
As for right now, I will include a little play list with a few of my songs from my "Soundtrack to October 26" playlist.
And a text from Aubrea because she always knows what to say to make me feel better:
Me: I'm trying not to cry and I don't wanna call my parents because I know I'd break down if I did, but having your support is amazing. You're the best.
Aubrea: They are good tears rachel! Go ahead and let yourself feel it - how amazing and beautiful it is that she is here today! these are time where we can look back and be thankful for renewal and hope in the world :)
All I can say right now is that today was tough. It was stressful and exhausting and I couldn't even think about anything that I wanted to think about (well actually didn't want to think about but had to think about for my own sanity and emotional strengthening). Actually, I didn't think about any of it until a Facebook status pulled in my attention and I got in my car to go for a drive and then a song came on the radio and the tears started falling. The song that came on was "Shape I'm In" by Joe Nichols. At that point my heart hurt so bad and I realized that I just can't do it alone anymore. I stopped at Michael's house and got a huge, much needed hug.
By the time I got home my face was tear streaked so Stephanie and I just sat around for a while and listened to music. Sad, depressing music. Happy, uplifting music. Hercules music. The Sound of Music music. And I made a "Soundtrack to October 26" play list so that I can listen to it and cry... or I can listen to it and feel happy that my life DIDN'T fall apart a year ago today and that we are all healing... together.
In addition, I have found a campaign to work on for my Senior Project for next quarter. I will write more on it later but it is relevant to this post because it is a campaign that will help me heal. It will be a creative and productive outlet for me to use as a means of healing and moving forward. Hopefully I can help others as well, and maybe save a few lives in the process. (Like I said, I will explain all this in a later post).
As for right now, I will include a little play list with a few of my songs from my "Soundtrack to October 26" playlist.
And a text from Aubrea because she always knows what to say to make me feel better:
Me: I'm trying not to cry and I don't wanna call my parents because I know I'd break down if I did, but having your support is amazing. You're the best.
Aubrea: They are good tears rachel! Go ahead and let yourself feel it - how amazing and beautiful it is that she is here today! these are time where we can look back and be thankful for renewal and hope in the world :)
Monday, February 15, 2010
One more day with you...
A few weeks ago I had a dream. I don't normally remember my dreams, and even if I do they are pretty foggy. This one, however, stuck with me. For some reason, for the past few weeks, I have thought about that dream every single day.
When I was 12, my aunt died from a very rare form of cancer. She was my dad's little sister. She couldn't have children, even though she would have made the most amazing mother ever. Because she couldn't have kids, she devoted her life to taking care of my sisters and I, as well as all the kids in her neighborhood. She would throw us tea parties, sleepovers, and send us cards for every single holiday ever invented (including groundhogs day and other holidays like that).
Every single time I see my grandmother, she tells me how much I resemble my aunt. Whenever she would bring it up, I used to tear up right then and there and I'd have to excuse myself from the room because it hurt too much to hear. Now, I've done better with it. I can continue with the conversation and hold in my tears until I'm alone in my room, then I can just let myself cry.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I had a dream about my Aunt Judy. It wasn't a dream that she was still alive, but it was a dream that I got to have another day with her. That I woke up one morning, and she was there and I got to have just one day with her. Now, normally my memory of her is a bit foggy, but in my dream, it all came back. The way she used to hug me, how she wore her hair, her smell... for some reason, I could remember every single thing about her. I don't remember what we did with that day, but I remember that when I went to sleep at the end of my day with her, I somehow knew everything was going to be okay. It was like spending that day with her made everything alright. She told me she was proud of me and that she wishes she could have been there for high school graduation and to hear when my sisters and I got our college acceptance letters. When she was tucking me into bed at the end of the dream, we both knew she wouldn't be there when I woke up. I was so sad, but I was also comforted.
When I woke up the next morning, I had tear stained cheeks and my heart hurt. I am not a dream de-coder so I dont know what that dream meant. I don't know if it's a sign for something, or if someone somewhere is trying to tell me something... I just don't know.
All I know is that it has stuck with me. And now I can remember how she used to hug me and how it felt to have her around. And now I also remember how much it hurt to lose her.
This song pretty much sums it up:
One more day - Diamond Rio
I wish I could have one more day with her... but then again...
When I was 12, my aunt died from a very rare form of cancer. She was my dad's little sister. She couldn't have children, even though she would have made the most amazing mother ever. Because she couldn't have kids, she devoted her life to taking care of my sisters and I, as well as all the kids in her neighborhood. She would throw us tea parties, sleepovers, and send us cards for every single holiday ever invented (including groundhogs day and other holidays like that).
Every single time I see my grandmother, she tells me how much I resemble my aunt. Whenever she would bring it up, I used to tear up right then and there and I'd have to excuse myself from the room because it hurt too much to hear. Now, I've done better with it. I can continue with the conversation and hold in my tears until I'm alone in my room, then I can just let myself cry.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I had a dream about my Aunt Judy. It wasn't a dream that she was still alive, but it was a dream that I got to have another day with her. That I woke up one morning, and she was there and I got to have just one day with her. Now, normally my memory of her is a bit foggy, but in my dream, it all came back. The way she used to hug me, how she wore her hair, her smell... for some reason, I could remember every single thing about her. I don't remember what we did with that day, but I remember that when I went to sleep at the end of my day with her, I somehow knew everything was going to be okay. It was like spending that day with her made everything alright. She told me she was proud of me and that she wishes she could have been there for high school graduation and to hear when my sisters and I got our college acceptance letters. When she was tucking me into bed at the end of the dream, we both knew she wouldn't be there when I woke up. I was so sad, but I was also comforted.
When I woke up the next morning, I had tear stained cheeks and my heart hurt. I am not a dream de-coder so I dont know what that dream meant. I don't know if it's a sign for something, or if someone somewhere is trying to tell me something... I just don't know.
All I know is that it has stuck with me. And now I can remember how she used to hug me and how it felt to have her around. And now I also remember how much it hurt to lose her.
This song pretty much sums it up:
One more day - Diamond Rio
I wish I could have one more day with her... but then again...
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
i know you want pop
I guess every year a DJ named DJ Earworm puts together a music video of all of the top hits for that year. I stumbled upon this year's because it has been posted on people's Twitters and Facebooks. He did a fantastic job putting this all together. It's cool to listen to as well as see the music video.
Check it out!
If you want to check out his website, here is the link: http://www.djearworm.com/
Check it out!
If you want to check out his website, here is the link: http://www.djearworm.com/
Thursday, December 24, 2009
in the name of the season
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!!
I just got back to my house from our Christmas Eve service at church and when I signed on to Facebook, there were about 15 people with "light me up put me on top falalalalalalalala" as their statuses. Naturally, I had to look it up and see what all the hype was about. Apparently it's a Lady GaGa song. Of course, it's dirty.
Anyway, I thought it was funny so here is the video that I found on YouTube.
What is our society coming to?
Anyway, happy holidays!
<3
I just got back to my house from our Christmas Eve service at church and when I signed on to Facebook, there were about 15 people with "light me up put me on top falalalalalalalala" as their statuses. Naturally, I had to look it up and see what all the hype was about. Apparently it's a Lady GaGa song. Of course, it's dirty.
Anyway, I thought it was funny so here is the video that I found on YouTube.
What is our society coming to?
Anyway, happy holidays!
<3
Saturday, December 12, 2009
I'm feeling the way you cross my mind
Laura just reintroduced me to this song by Michelle Branch and Santana. Although it can be viewed as a romantic or love song, that's not how I'm "feeling it" right now. I'm feeling my friends in Spain, my friends at home and at Poly, my family, this experience in Spain, and just appreciating life a lot. Maybe I'm taking the song in the wrong context, but that's how I'm feeling right now.
Last night was an absolutely wonderful last Friday night in Valladolid, I had so much freaking fun! But now I get to spend the rest of my day doing homework and studying for finals. There you go - the highs and lows.
Anyway, here is the music video and the lyrics. I'm sure you've heard the song before, but I just thought it was wonderful. Thanks Laura!
Sometimes, I imagine the world without you
But most times, I’m just so happy that I ever found you
It’s a complicated web, that you weave inside my head
So much pleasure with such pain
Hope we always, always stay the same
I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I’m feelin’ you
I’m feelin’ you
You go, and then I can finally breathe in
‘Cause baby I know, in the end you’re never leavin’
Well we’re rarely ever sane, I drive you crazy and you do the same
But your fire fills my soul
And it warms me up like no one knows
'Cause I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I’m feelin’ you
I’m feelin’ you
[guitar solo]
I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the knick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
Oh, I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' you
Oh, I'm feelin' you
Oh, I’m feelin’ the way that you cross my mind
And the way that you save me in the knick of time
Oh I’m feelin’ the way when you walk on by
I feel light, I feel love, I feel butterflies
I feel butterflies
Last night was an absolutely wonderful last Friday night in Valladolid, I had so much freaking fun! But now I get to spend the rest of my day doing homework and studying for finals. There you go - the highs and lows.
Anyway, here is the music video and the lyrics. I'm sure you've heard the song before, but I just thought it was wonderful. Thanks Laura!
Sometimes, I imagine the world without you
But most times, I’m just so happy that I ever found you
It’s a complicated web, that you weave inside my head
So much pleasure with such pain
Hope we always, always stay the same
I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I’m feelin’ you
I’m feelin’ you
You go, and then I can finally breathe in
‘Cause baby I know, in the end you’re never leavin’
Well we’re rarely ever sane, I drive you crazy and you do the same
But your fire fills my soul
And it warms me up like no one knows
'Cause I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I’m feelin’ you
I’m feelin’ you
[guitar solo]
I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the knick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
Oh, I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' you
I'm feelin' you
Oh, I'm feelin' you
Oh, I’m feelin’ the way that you cross my mind
And the way that you save me in the knick of time
Oh I’m feelin’ the way when you walk on by
I feel light, I feel love, I feel butterflies
I feel butterflies
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Princesas
I know I haven't written in a while (hey, I've been busy!) but I just wanted to share this song with you all because we listened to it in my Spanish grammar class the other day and I'm basically obsessed with it and the rest of the songs on the CD. I know it's in Spanish, but the music is just awesome and it makes you want to dance and sing!!!!
I promise I will write more soon (maybe even tonight if you're lucky)! And some of my new posts will include music and videos and stuff because they are my new obsession.
Love.
oh... and this one by the same singer... "Pereza"
I promise I will write more soon (maybe even tonight if you're lucky)! And some of my new posts will include music and videos and stuff because they are my new obsession.
Love.
oh... and this one by the same singer... "Pereza"
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
parts of yesterday get tattooed on your soul....
Ever notice how certain things instantly make you think of specific people for perhaps no reason at all? Or maybe there is a reason, but generally one that you don't want to remember. Things change, people move on, and you will never be the way you were before. That's all part of life. We all know that... but it doesn't change the fact that it hurts.
Recently there have been lots of changes for people from my high school. Girls I have known since I was 13 are getting pregnant. People who dated in high school are engaged. Boys who dates friends are becoming fathers. It is so scary. Maybe they are happy with those decisions. Maybe those are great decisions for them, but they aren't for me. It makes me happy to be where I am in my life. I am so lucky to be on this wonderful adventure in Spain and at least trying to figure out who I am, what I want to do, and meeting people who will be life long friends from this trip on.
I don't really know what to say about the ways my life has changed since I was in high school. But there have been many different things that have shaped who I am today. Sometimes I still miss the friends I had back then. Sometimes I miss the boys I dated or the parties I went to. But I would never ever go back to the pain that I went through back then. There are just some things that make me remember those people and sometimes I wish I could just pick up the phone and text those people and tell them that I was reminded of them at that moment. However, I can't. There is too much that has happened since then and lost of them are not my friends anymore because too much has gone down and we have hurt each other too bad. That doesn't keep me from missing them sometimes, though. That doesn't keep me from thinking about them or going on their Facebook pages every once and a while just to see how they are doing and make sure that they are happy.
There are things that I experience every single day that make me think of people from my past. There are certain songs, pictures, books, or experiences that will forever take me back and make me think of those people, and those memories are not always good. A lot of times, the memories are painful and make my heart tighten and make it just a little bit harder to breathe.
Anyway, I hope that all those people from my past know that I still think about them and care about them no matter how much has changed in our lives. No matter how many mean things we said about each other, no matter if we haven't seen each other since we were 18 and walked across the stage at graduation, or if we just simply lost touch. We may never be part of each others' lives again, but you touched my life in so many ways and I still think about you and wish the best for you.
This song, for some reason, makes me think of all those people. I heard it a while ago and I just love whenever it comes up on my iPod. I hope you enjoy it too.
Recently there have been lots of changes for people from my high school. Girls I have known since I was 13 are getting pregnant. People who dated in high school are engaged. Boys who dates friends are becoming fathers. It is so scary. Maybe they are happy with those decisions. Maybe those are great decisions for them, but they aren't for me. It makes me happy to be where I am in my life. I am so lucky to be on this wonderful adventure in Spain and at least trying to figure out who I am, what I want to do, and meeting people who will be life long friends from this trip on.
I don't really know what to say about the ways my life has changed since I was in high school. But there have been many different things that have shaped who I am today. Sometimes I still miss the friends I had back then. Sometimes I miss the boys I dated or the parties I went to. But I would never ever go back to the pain that I went through back then. There are just some things that make me remember those people and sometimes I wish I could just pick up the phone and text those people and tell them that I was reminded of them at that moment. However, I can't. There is too much that has happened since then and lost of them are not my friends anymore because too much has gone down and we have hurt each other too bad. That doesn't keep me from missing them sometimes, though. That doesn't keep me from thinking about them or going on their Facebook pages every once and a while just to see how they are doing and make sure that they are happy.
There are things that I experience every single day that make me think of people from my past. There are certain songs, pictures, books, or experiences that will forever take me back and make me think of those people, and those memories are not always good. A lot of times, the memories are painful and make my heart tighten and make it just a little bit harder to breathe.
Anyway, I hope that all those people from my past know that I still think about them and care about them no matter how much has changed in our lives. No matter how many mean things we said about each other, no matter if we haven't seen each other since we were 18 and walked across the stage at graduation, or if we just simply lost touch. We may never be part of each others' lives again, but you touched my life in so many ways and I still think about you and wish the best for you.
This song, for some reason, makes me think of all those people. I heard it a while ago and I just love whenever it comes up on my iPod. I hope you enjoy it too.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Must Have Done Something Right
We should get jerseys cause we make a good team
But yours would look better than mine, cause you're outta my league
-Relient K
Dunno who that is for, but I just liked the lyrics!
But yours would look better than mine, cause you're outta my league
-Relient K
Dunno who that is for, but I just liked the lyrics!
Friday, October 2, 2009
wonderful journey
The Beginning- Anastasia
The past week has been a wonderful beginning to the long journey ahead of me. I know that our entire life is a journey, and I have experienced 20 (sometimes wonderful, sometimes not so wonderful) years of that journey, but for some reason I feel like I have just begun to live.
I spend a lot of time being afraid of the things around me. I'm afraid of new experiences. I dwell in old occurrences. I worry about losing friends, about changing relationships, about being on my own, and about never figuring out who I am and what I am supposed to be.
My time in Spain has already been so eye opening for me. Even though I have only been here for a week, it feels like my entire world has changed. I am finally growing into the person I know I can be. I am trying new things like living half way around the world from my family in friends, eating things like FISH and TOMATOES (I know, I know... no big deal, right? Well it is for me!), and traveling by myself.
The people on this trip with me have been so amazing. I really lucked out with the people who came to Spain from Cal Poly. Although I have not had time to get to know the guys very well, the girls have been especially amazing. They have opened my eyes to so many new things and they have showed me so many different ways of thinking.
I have spent most of my time with about seven other girls. It is interesting to me that most of them have boyfriends. Even more fascinating, though, is that all of their relationships have so much ground in God and what He wants for them in their lives. They all truly feel His presence and live their lives for Him; something I have never experienced... ever.
I follow Natalie and Tiffany's blogs. I have been reading Tiffany's, but I just started following Natalie's today. Her ability to talk about her relationship with God is amazing to me! I wish that I was that passionate about something in my life. For me, it doesn't have to be religion. It doesn't have to be spiritual. It just has to be something that makes me feel alive and ready to live to my full potential. Something that makes me want to stand on top of a mountain and say "Look world, I am Rachel and I have something to contribute!" So far, I don't feel that way.
In my conversations with Natalie, Tiffany, and Hanna (not so much the other girls yet, just because I haven't had the chance), it has become apparent to me that I admire their faith so much. Like I said, not just because it is religious, but because they have something to support them in their best moments, but also in their worst. They have somewhere to turn and an amazing bond with God to get them through everything that He hands to them. How do you develop faith like that? How do you find something that makes you so passionate and love life so much?
On our way from Madrid to Valladolid I had a wonderful conversation with Hanna. It started out with her asking me questions about my life, my family, my beliefs... and it turned into us sharing about literally everything that came to mind. The conversation really opened up my mind to different things about my life that I miss, that I want to change, and that I would like to continue working on.
Hanna's first question to me was "Who, in your life, do you look up to most?" I told her, and she said "Why?" It really made me think... and not in the same way that you would if you were writing about that for a class essay or something. Like, I really thought about what she was asking me. She then asked about my family and asked about different things in my parents and my sisters that I admire and look up to. She asked about different things that I would like to take from them, and evolve within myself. I asked her about her faith and about how she became such a strong believer in the Christian God because she was not raised that way. I asked her about her boyfriend and about people she looks up to. She told me about her older sister who seems like a wonderful person.
Hanna, if you're reading this, I absolutely LOVED that talk we had. I loved that you could share with me and tell me things about yourself that I would have never guessed. I loved that I could talk to you and not feel judged, or like you thought less of me after sharing my beliefs. I loved that I could see, hear, and feel your passion about every single thing you said to me. I can tell that you are a wonderful friend and I look forward to getting to know you better and hearing more about your relationship with Kevin, your family, God, your friends, and anything else you want to share with me.
I wish that I could have talks like this with many other people. So far, I have only found a few people in my life who I can really share things with. That conversation with Hanna was one of the most genuine conversations I've had with someone.
I hope that I can continue to have conversations like that with the people I am in Spain with. To all the girls I am becoming friends with, I really do cherish you girls and I can't wait to get to know you guys better. To the boys... I hope we can get to know each other better too. To my friends at home, I miss you guys and I can't wait to come home and share my experiences with you. To my family (sisters, parents, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.), I miss you all as well and I hope you can send me e-mails and keep me updated on college, sports, recitals, and life.
One day, I hope to find something that makes every day worthwhile. I hope to find something, or someone, who makes me feel so passionate about life the way the girls on this trip have.
With that, I will leave with a final thought for you to respond to. And I would truly like to hear what you have to say. This thought (or thoughts) has evolved from my experiences thus far and the people I have encountered.
1. What are your passions? How old were you when they developed? How do you fulfill your passions in every day life?
2. Do you believe in God? If yes, what makes you certain he is watching over you? How do you feel him in your life? If no, has something happened to make you stop believing, or have you never felt Him? Do you believe in something or someone besides God?
3. On your toughest days, what helps you get through?
4. If you had to choose certain characteristics that you admire from each of your immediate family members, what would they be?
5. Who do you admire most? Why? What is something you don't like about the person you admire (simply because, well, nobody is perfect)?
Of course I would love to hear your answers to those questions... if you decide you want to share with me, write me a message, post a comment, whatever. Tell me about all of your answers, tell me about one of your answers, tell me about none of your answers. They are to get you thinking and reflecting the same way I have for the past week or so.
Normally I would apologize for how long this blog is. But I am going to work on not apologizing. This blog is mostly for me. If you want to read it, WONDERFUL! I'm so glad. If you don't, then you won't even get this far in this post, and there is no point in me apologizing anyway. I appreciate being heard, I appreciate your thoughts, but most of all, I appreciate your support and the love that I feel from my friends and family.
Love.
The past week has been a wonderful beginning to the long journey ahead of me. I know that our entire life is a journey, and I have experienced 20 (sometimes wonderful, sometimes not so wonderful) years of that journey, but for some reason I feel like I have just begun to live.
I spend a lot of time being afraid of the things around me. I'm afraid of new experiences. I dwell in old occurrences. I worry about losing friends, about changing relationships, about being on my own, and about never figuring out who I am and what I am supposed to be.
My time in Spain has already been so eye opening for me. Even though I have only been here for a week, it feels like my entire world has changed. I am finally growing into the person I know I can be. I am trying new things like living half way around the world from my family in friends, eating things like FISH and TOMATOES (I know, I know... no big deal, right? Well it is for me!), and traveling by myself.
The people on this trip with me have been so amazing. I really lucked out with the people who came to Spain from Cal Poly. Although I have not had time to get to know the guys very well, the girls have been especially amazing. They have opened my eyes to so many new things and they have showed me so many different ways of thinking.
I have spent most of my time with about seven other girls. It is interesting to me that most of them have boyfriends. Even more fascinating, though, is that all of their relationships have so much ground in God and what He wants for them in their lives. They all truly feel His presence and live their lives for Him; something I have never experienced... ever.
I follow Natalie and Tiffany's blogs. I have been reading Tiffany's, but I just started following Natalie's today. Her ability to talk about her relationship with God is amazing to me! I wish that I was that passionate about something in my life. For me, it doesn't have to be religion. It doesn't have to be spiritual. It just has to be something that makes me feel alive and ready to live to my full potential. Something that makes me want to stand on top of a mountain and say "Look world, I am Rachel and I have something to contribute!" So far, I don't feel that way.
In my conversations with Natalie, Tiffany, and Hanna (not so much the other girls yet, just because I haven't had the chance), it has become apparent to me that I admire their faith so much. Like I said, not just because it is religious, but because they have something to support them in their best moments, but also in their worst. They have somewhere to turn and an amazing bond with God to get them through everything that He hands to them. How do you develop faith like that? How do you find something that makes you so passionate and love life so much?
On our way from Madrid to Valladolid I had a wonderful conversation with Hanna. It started out with her asking me questions about my life, my family, my beliefs... and it turned into us sharing about literally everything that came to mind. The conversation really opened up my mind to different things about my life that I miss, that I want to change, and that I would like to continue working on.
Hanna's first question to me was "Who, in your life, do you look up to most?" I told her, and she said "Why?" It really made me think... and not in the same way that you would if you were writing about that for a class essay or something. Like, I really thought about what she was asking me. She then asked about my family and asked about different things in my parents and my sisters that I admire and look up to. She asked about different things that I would like to take from them, and evolve within myself. I asked her about her faith and about how she became such a strong believer in the Christian God because she was not raised that way. I asked her about her boyfriend and about people she looks up to. She told me about her older sister who seems like a wonderful person.
Hanna, if you're reading this, I absolutely LOVED that talk we had. I loved that you could share with me and tell me things about yourself that I would have never guessed. I loved that I could talk to you and not feel judged, or like you thought less of me after sharing my beliefs. I loved that I could see, hear, and feel your passion about every single thing you said to me. I can tell that you are a wonderful friend and I look forward to getting to know you better and hearing more about your relationship with Kevin, your family, God, your friends, and anything else you want to share with me.
I wish that I could have talks like this with many other people. So far, I have only found a few people in my life who I can really share things with. That conversation with Hanna was one of the most genuine conversations I've had with someone.
I hope that I can continue to have conversations like that with the people I am in Spain with. To all the girls I am becoming friends with, I really do cherish you girls and I can't wait to get to know you guys better. To the boys... I hope we can get to know each other better too. To my friends at home, I miss you guys and I can't wait to come home and share my experiences with you. To my family (sisters, parents, cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.), I miss you all as well and I hope you can send me e-mails and keep me updated on college, sports, recitals, and life.
One day, I hope to find something that makes every day worthwhile. I hope to find something, or someone, who makes me feel so passionate about life the way the girls on this trip have.
With that, I will leave with a final thought for you to respond to. And I would truly like to hear what you have to say. This thought (or thoughts) has evolved from my experiences thus far and the people I have encountered.
1. What are your passions? How old were you when they developed? How do you fulfill your passions in every day life?
2. Do you believe in God? If yes, what makes you certain he is watching over you? How do you feel him in your life? If no, has something happened to make you stop believing, or have you never felt Him? Do you believe in something or someone besides God?
3. On your toughest days, what helps you get through?
4. If you had to choose certain characteristics that you admire from each of your immediate family members, what would they be?
5. Who do you admire most? Why? What is something you don't like about the person you admire (simply because, well, nobody is perfect)?
Of course I would love to hear your answers to those questions... if you decide you want to share with me, write me a message, post a comment, whatever. Tell me about all of your answers, tell me about one of your answers, tell me about none of your answers. They are to get you thinking and reflecting the same way I have for the past week or so.
Normally I would apologize for how long this blog is. But I am going to work on not apologizing. This blog is mostly for me. If you want to read it, WONDERFUL! I'm so glad. If you don't, then you won't even get this far in this post, and there is no point in me apologizing anyway. I appreciate being heard, I appreciate your thoughts, but most of all, I appreciate your support and the love that I feel from my friends and family.
Love.
Monday, August 24, 2009
the mix
So my best friend Katelin made her way to Texas last week. She is going to the University of Texas in Austin this upcoming year and I really hope she loves it there. Before she left on this huge adventure (its a long drive and a huge move for her) I wrote her a letter and made her a mixed CD. Well, actually, I am not very good at selecting twenty PERFECT songs for her, so I ended up with sixty... so I guess it was a three CD going away mix. I just thought I'd share this mix with everybody because I absolutely love these songs and so many of them mean a lot especially for life changing events, broken hearts, and best friends. I advise you to check out some of these songs. They are all country, but I love them!!! (Almost as much as I love Katelin)
1. Alright - Darius Rucker
2. Austin - Blake Shelton
3. Bad For Me - Danielle Peck
4. The Best Day - Taylor Swift
5. Best Days of Your Life - Kelli Pickler
6. Big Green Tractor - Jason Aldean
7. Call Me Crazy - The Lost Trailers
8. Change - Taylor Swift
9. The Climb - Miley Cyrus
10. Don't Think I Don't Think About It - Daruis Rucker
11. Everytime I Hear Your Name - Keith Anderson
12. Fall Into Me - Emerson Drive
13. Firecracker - Josh Turner
14. God Love Her - Toby Keith
15. Good As Gone - Little Big Town
16. Good Little Girls - BLue Country
17. Gunpowder and Lead - Miranda Lambert
18. Heads Carolina, Tails California - Jo Dee Messina
19. Here's to Finding a Good Man - Danielle Peck
20. Highways and Broken Hearts - Eli Young Band
21. Home is Where the Heart Is - Lady Antebellum
22. How 'Bout You Don't - The Lost Trailers
23. How Do You Like Me Now - Toby Keith
24. I Can't Unlove You - Kenny Rogers
25. I Don't - Danielle Peck
26. I Run To You - Lady Antebellum
27. If You're Gonna Play in Texas - Alabama
28. If You Had Called Yesterday - Julie Roberts
29. Isn't That Everything - Danielle Peck
30. It's Good To Be Us - Bucky Covington
31. It Happens - Sugarland
32. It Matters To Me - Faith Hill
33. Last Train Running - Whiskey Falls
34. Leave The Pieces - The Wreckers
35. Lesson In Leaving - Jo Dee Messina
36. Lessons Learned - Carrie Underwood
37. Let Her Cry - Hootie and the Blowfish
38. Long Gone - Lady Antebellum
39. Lucky For You -SHeDAISY
40. Me and Emily - Rachel Proctor
41. Mrs Steven Rudy - Rascal Flatts
42. My Give A Damn's Busted - Jo Dee Messina
43. No - Jason Aldean
44. One Day You Will - Lady Antebellum
45. Perfect - Sara Evans
46. Picture To Burn - Taylor Swift
47. Runaway - Love and Theft
48. She'd Be California - Rascal Flatts
49. She's Gonna Hurt Somebody - Chuck Wicks
50. Someday My Prince Will Come - Tanya Tucker
51. Stay Gone - Jimmy Wayne
52. Strange - Reba McEntire
53. Sucks To Be You - Danielle Peck
54. Unseen - Kate Amiger
55. The Way It Goes - Gloriana
56. Whatever It Is - Zac Brown Band
57. When I Said I Would - Whitney Duncan
58. When It Rains - Eli Young Band
59. Wild At Heart - Gloriana
60. God Blessed Texas - Alan Jackson
1. Alright - Darius Rucker
2. Austin - Blake Shelton
3. Bad For Me - Danielle Peck
4. The Best Day - Taylor Swift
5. Best Days of Your Life - Kelli Pickler
6. Big Green Tractor - Jason Aldean
7. Call Me Crazy - The Lost Trailers
8. Change - Taylor Swift
9. The Climb - Miley Cyrus
10. Don't Think I Don't Think About It - Daruis Rucker
11. Everytime I Hear Your Name - Keith Anderson
12. Fall Into Me - Emerson Drive
13. Firecracker - Josh Turner
14. God Love Her - Toby Keith
15. Good As Gone - Little Big Town
16. Good Little Girls - BLue Country
17. Gunpowder and Lead - Miranda Lambert
18. Heads Carolina, Tails California - Jo Dee Messina
19. Here's to Finding a Good Man - Danielle Peck
20. Highways and Broken Hearts - Eli Young Band
21. Home is Where the Heart Is - Lady Antebellum
22. How 'Bout You Don't - The Lost Trailers
23. How Do You Like Me Now - Toby Keith
24. I Can't Unlove You - Kenny Rogers
25. I Don't - Danielle Peck
26. I Run To You - Lady Antebellum
27. If You're Gonna Play in Texas - Alabama
28. If You Had Called Yesterday - Julie Roberts
29. Isn't That Everything - Danielle Peck
30. It's Good To Be Us - Bucky Covington
31. It Happens - Sugarland
32. It Matters To Me - Faith Hill
33. Last Train Running - Whiskey Falls
34. Leave The Pieces - The Wreckers
35. Lesson In Leaving - Jo Dee Messina
36. Lessons Learned - Carrie Underwood
37. Let Her Cry - Hootie and the Blowfish
38. Long Gone - Lady Antebellum
39. Lucky For You -SHeDAISY
40. Me and Emily - Rachel Proctor
41. Mrs Steven Rudy - Rascal Flatts
42. My Give A Damn's Busted - Jo Dee Messina
43. No - Jason Aldean
44. One Day You Will - Lady Antebellum
45. Perfect - Sara Evans
46. Picture To Burn - Taylor Swift
47. Runaway - Love and Theft
48. She'd Be California - Rascal Flatts
49. She's Gonna Hurt Somebody - Chuck Wicks
50. Someday My Prince Will Come - Tanya Tucker
51. Stay Gone - Jimmy Wayne
52. Strange - Reba McEntire
53. Sucks To Be You - Danielle Peck
54. Unseen - Kate Amiger
55. The Way It Goes - Gloriana
56. Whatever It Is - Zac Brown Band
57. When I Said I Would - Whitney Duncan
58. When It Rains - Eli Young Band
59. Wild At Heart - Gloriana
60. God Blessed Texas - Alan Jackson
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