Ever notice how certain things instantly make you think of specific people for perhaps no reason at all? Or maybe there is a reason, but generally one that you don't want to remember. Things change, people move on, and you will never be the way you were before. That's all part of life. We all know that... but it doesn't change the fact that it hurts.
Recently there have been lots of changes for people from my high school. Girls I have known since I was 13 are getting pregnant. People who dated in high school are engaged. Boys who dates friends are becoming fathers. It is so scary. Maybe they are happy with those decisions. Maybe those are great decisions for them, but they aren't for me. It makes me happy to be where I am in my life. I am so lucky to be on this wonderful adventure in Spain and at least trying to figure out who I am, what I want to do, and meeting people who will be life long friends from this trip on.
I don't really know what to say about the ways my life has changed since I was in high school. But there have been many different things that have shaped who I am today. Sometimes I still miss the friends I had back then. Sometimes I miss the boys I dated or the parties I went to. But I would never ever go back to the pain that I went through back then. There are just some things that make me remember those people and sometimes I wish I could just pick up the phone and text those people and tell them that I was reminded of them at that moment. However, I can't. There is too much that has happened since then and lost of them are not my friends anymore because too much has gone down and we have hurt each other too bad. That doesn't keep me from missing them sometimes, though. That doesn't keep me from thinking about them or going on their Facebook pages every once and a while just to see how they are doing and make sure that they are happy.
There are things that I experience every single day that make me think of people from my past. There are certain songs, pictures, books, or experiences that will forever take me back and make me think of those people, and those memories are not always good. A lot of times, the memories are painful and make my heart tighten and make it just a little bit harder to breathe.
Anyway, I hope that all those people from my past know that I still think about them and care about them no matter how much has changed in our lives. No matter how many mean things we said about each other, no matter if we haven't seen each other since we were 18 and walked across the stage at graduation, or if we just simply lost touch. We may never be part of each others' lives again, but you touched my life in so many ways and I still think about you and wish the best for you.
This song, for some reason, makes me think of all those people. I heard it a while ago and I just love whenever it comes up on my iPod. I hope you enjoy it too.