Tuesday, December 7, 2010

day 3

Day 1 - Something you hate about yourself
Day 2 - Something you love about yourself
Day 3 - Something you have to forgive yourself for
Day 4 - Something you have to forgive someone for
Day 5 - Something you hope to do in your life
Day 6 - Something you hope you never have to do
Day 7 - Someone who has made your life worth living for
Day 8 - Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit
Day 9 - Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted
Day 10 - Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know
Day 11 - Something people seem to compliment you the most on
Day 12 - Something you never get compliments on
Day 13 - A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 - A hero that has let you down. (write a letter).
Day 15 - Something or someone you couldn't live without, because you've tried living without it.
Day 16 - Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 - A book you've read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 - Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 - What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 - (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 - Something you wish you hadn't done in your life.
Day 23 - Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 - Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 - The reason you believe you're still alive today.
Day 26 - Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 - What's the best thing going for your right now?
Day 28 - What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 - Something you  hope to change about yourself and why.
Day 30 - A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

I messed up a lot of things in high school. I won't get into the details for you here because I am not sure if I will ever be ready to tell the entire world all the ways I was a terrible friend, daughter, girlfriend, etc. - and I am not sure you want to hear about it. If I told you everything, any respect you have for me would probably be non-existent. Those were not great years for me. Basically, the four years I spent in high school were some of the worst years of my life.

I have to forgive myself for the mistakes I made back then. I have spent a lot of time hating myself for who I was and letting those decisions and mistakes hold me back now. The person I was then scares me because I never want to be back in that place ever again - I never want to be that person ever again. I hurt a lot of people, including myself, and I didn't really realize how much I loved my family and how much their support helped me through the darkest of times (whether they were caused by my own mistakes or by other people's actions, it is unimportant). 

The forgiveness that only I can grant myself in regards to that time in my life would most likely set me free and allow me to really live life to the fullest from now on. 

I just have to figure out how.

1 comment:

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

I feel like forgiving yourself is one of the hardest things to do. I hope you find a way to do that and to release the things you've been holding inside.