tonight made my heart hurt

I'm still awake and it is 4:25 a.m.

I had a pretty shitty night.

Spent the past two hours having an extremely eye opening conversation with Nikol and Ashley.

I am going to start learning a lot more about myself and deciding what is important and not important in my life.

Tonight things were not good. Basically, I fell apart and we didn't work tonight. I do know that he is important to me, though.

I really hope that I'm as important to him as he is to me.... I'll be praying for that tonight. Among other things.

Right now, my heart feels like it is going to break in half. I'm really upset. I hope I didn't fuck everything up. I'm hurting.

Please let everything work out...

I've got a lot of growing and learning to do.

Thank you so much to Nikol and Ashley. You girls mean so much to me and I'm incredibly lucky to have people like you in my life... people who will sit up with me until ungodly hours in the morning when I have a mental breakdown. I love you girls.