so this is what it's like

So, I guess I have to start being an adult now. I am 21 years old, I am WAY more than half way done with college, and I've got a whole lot on my plate. In some ways it is so exciting... that doesn't stop me from being scared out of my mind though. Once I leave Cal Poly, I am on my own. Like, getting my own job, paying my own rent, living my own life. I'm scared.

This weekend has a lot to do with planning for the future. It's amazing how one year makes a whole lot of difference. Last year at this time I was barely thinking about graduation. I was actually too freaked out about going to Spain to worry about much of anything else. Next year at this time I will be a quarter and a half away from graduation and I will be looking for long term jobs that will be able to pay the rent and maybe promote me in the future so that I can make a career out of it. Crazy.

Anyway, like I said, this weekend I have a lot to do. Here's a peak into my to-do list:

1. complete my resume and send it to my parents so they can take a look at it and help me edit it so that I can send it to possible businesses where I may be able to get an internship
2. e-mail/interview people about my article for Polyscript Magazine and write my article ASAP
3. e-mail people and companies about internships
4. do my laundry (I know, very grown up)
5. plan out my classes for the rest of college and figure out a way that I can take enough units to stay in school for the next four quarters
6. plan out my schedule for next quarter

As pertains to number 5, I met with my adviser on Monday and he asked why I'm not graduating this upcoming spring. When I told him it was because I am minoring in Spanish, he asked why I am not graduating next fall. Way to freak me out Dr. H! So now I am so worried about my grades, graduation date, living in the real world, etc. What am I supposed to do with my life?!?! Between you and me, I'm scared.

Naturally, when I'm scared, I revert to old habits from when I was younger. As for tonight, I'm watching the OC from the very first episode. Ryan is SO hott!!! How come I can't find a guy who looks like him? Or Seth, I'd be okay with that too! Welcome to a glimpse into my freshman year of high school. I'm such an adult... 7 years later. (Holy crap, has it really been that long?) -- p.s. It's funny to listen to the music they played in these shows because I actually listened to this stuff... crazy
Marissa: Who are you?
Ryan: Whoever you want me to be.