changes

This weekend was kind of a roller coaster. I feel like I didn't do anything, and yet I feel like I accomplished a lot.

On Thursday I went to Farmers Market and hung out at Beta. Friday I just had work and then went to sleep at 10:30 because I was EXHAUSTED!

Saturday was a lot of fun. I woke up early and went with Nikol to the "Change the Status Quo" conference  on campus. It was a really cool experience and I'm super bummed that I haven't gone the past two years I've had the opportunity. At breakfast they had a presentation by the boy who inspired the Invisible Children program. He was a very inspirational speaker and his mentor was very well spoken as well. The talked about the importance of education and the ability to change the world through teaching children the importance of words versus violence.

The rest of the day was made up on workshops. Each hour we went to a different workshop. We went to one by the SLO for Darfur club on campus. That was my favorite workshop. It really made me want to get involved. They talked about the problems in Darfur and how so many people are living in refugee camps. We also went to one about reusing household products for other things such as planters, shoelaces, etc. The last one we went to was about sex trafficking in Cambodia. That one was really hard to listen to because so many young girls are forced into prostitution in order to survive.

The entire experience made me want to get up and do something. All I need to do is find something that inspires me enough. Something that I can commit myself to that will make a difference in other people's lives. Thus far, I haven't found that thing.

The rest of my weekend was comprised of my losing struggle against my overactive anxiety. For some reason I don't know how to control my anxiety. I get anxious over everything, and then something happens and suddenly its too much to handle. It may seem like I'm overreacting about something that shouldn't matter that much, but generally there's a lot more going on than that stupid thing that's bugging me. Sometimes I don't think my friend's believe me when I say that, but it's true. I freak out about everything. Maybe I'm crazy? I don't know. What I do know is that I need to figure out a way to control my anxiety and just let things happen. I need to realize I can't be in control of everything, and that there is excitement and fun in a lot of the unknown. I tend to forget that, or don't know how to handle it.

What are ways you calm yourself down when you are anxious? Today I went for a run. It helped for a while but then the anxiety came back again. Any anti-anxiety tips would be greatly appreciated.

That's all for now. I'm watching 13 going on 30 and going to sleep. Tomorrow my classes were furloughed, so I think I'm going to run and work on the rest of my homework and projects and stuff.