Friday, January 1, 2010

out with the old...

Wow, I can't believe it's not only the beginning of a new year, but a new decade as well! Of course, this is going to be one of those stereotypical "New Year, New Me!" posts but hey, we've all gotta do it. It's weird, though, because I not only need to reflect on my past year, but the past ten years of my life!

The past decade has been... interesting to say the least. I had some pretty tough times and I can't say that I am sad to move on. I rang in the new millennium at a huge party with our family friends like we always did for the new year. Although everybody, for some reason, thought that the world was going to end, we came into 2000 without a glitch. In 2001 I lost my aunt and my grandmother. On top of that, September 11 happened and all the repercussion of that. After all of that, my mom and future step father moved us out so that I could be closer to my dad and go to a good high school. Starting a new school (again) was tough, but I made a group of friends who I spent a long time with. High school was hard. I wouldn't hesitate to say that I had one of the worst high school experiences out of anybody I know. I made mistakes, lost friends to fights and to car accidents, and when I graduated in 2007, I couldn't have been happier to walk across that stage in my cap and gown. College thus far has been a blast, although there have definitely been issues, heart break, but also happiness and fun.

The past year has been a roller coaster as well. There have been times when I cried myself to sleep, stayed up until the early hours of the morning laughing with friends, and stress over school, family, and friends. I spent the better half of the year freaking out and having anxiety attacks about going to Spain, and ended up making the leap and flying half way around the world to experience something magical. I took a few steps forward to figure out who I am, but also have so many new questions about where I'm going and who I want to be. I guess that's life.

On my drive down to SLO yesterday, the song "Wild at Heart" by Gloriana came on the radio. It was kinda the theme song of my summer this past year. Christine and I listened to it all the time. When that song came on, I just started crying. I have no idea why, but my mind flashed to the past ten years, the past 12 months, and everything that I have been through, accomplished, and experienced. I can't even say what it was about that song, but I literally started bawling. I just looked up the lyrics and I feel like they are so important for what I want to do with my life for the next year, decade, and my life.
"I ain't here to do anything half way
Don't give a damn what anyone might say
I just want to free fall for a while!"

I'm not saying that the next 10 years will be perfect. But I really am hoping they are better than the past 10 years. There will, of course, be breakups, lost friends, and pain, but there will also be happiness and new experiences. There will be new friends, new opportunities, and wonderful things to look forward to.

I have been thinking a lot about my resolutions for this year. I don't know how realistic they are, but I am going to try. I guess that's what resolutions are for - to attempt to be a better person and all that good stuff. I am going to print them out and post them in my room so I remember them all! Anyway, here they are.

1. I'm going to stop biting my nails! I know, I know, this is ALWAYS the first resolution on my list, but this year I'm going to do it!

2. I am going to focus on my grades and work really hard. This quarter I am taking 21units, but I am still hoping to find some sort of job and spend time with my friends and all that. I want this resolution to go beyond this quarter, though, so I will hopefully do well in my classes this year, and get a good internship this summer!

3. I am going to try not to freak out so much like I did this past year. Although I do not have a huge trip to go on (like Spain this year), I tend to get really obsessive, anxious, and freaked out about a lot of things. I am going to stop doing that. It is not healthy, I hate how I act when I get like that, and I know that I am not very much fun when I am like that.

4. Going along with the last resolution, I am going to try to let go of the things that I can't control. Those are the things that make me anxious the most, and I need to stop letting them affect me so much.

5. I am going to get back in shape. I am going to start running, or going to the gym, or just doing sit ups and push ups every night. I have gotten very lazy and I am self conscious about the way I look right now, so I am going to get back in the shape I was in a few years ago. This also includes eating healthy and not snacking on bad food like I always do.

6. I am going to be better with my money. I am going to save as much as I can, and not eat dinner out so much. I am going to not buy frivolous things and really consider my purchases. Now, that doesn't mean I won't spend ANY money, but I really do need to keep money in my bank account so I have it for the future and things that I really want to spend money on. (Not to mention that I need to pay my dad back for the money he lent me while I was in Spain!)

7. This is a fun one. I got the idea from Helena while we were still in Spain. This year, I am going to take one picture a day. I really want to get better with my photography skills, and I think this is a really good way to do it! I got Photo Shop for Christmas, and I am hoping I can learn how to use it better and figure out how to do cool things with the thousands of pictures I have taken and will inevitably take. Now, I don't want crappy pictures like the ones that you take with your friends when you're at a party, I want good pictures that took a minute or two to set up and make look good. Maybe I won't set myself up to necessarily take a picture every day, but learning something new on Photo Shop also counts. At the end of each week, I will post my pictures from the week on my blog. I know it is kinda ambitious, but I think it could be really cool!

Along with the new me for this year, you may have noticed I'm giving my blog a new look. I figured it was time to try a different style. I am not sure if I'll keep it the way it is now, or change it in a bit when I find something I like better. But for now, enjoy!

I know there were more resolutions that I've thought of for myself, but right now I can't really think of them. I am tired and feel like I'm getting sick so I am going to go to sleep. Tomorrow is a big day, I have to get my room set up after being gone for 3 months, put away my clothes, clean up the house/dishes from today and last night, and hopefully see friends! I need to go grocery shopping, figure out what text books I need for my classes, and read the syllabi for my classes.

I can't wait to get this quarter going and see what 2010 has in store for me!

Happy new year to all of you who may (or may not) be reading my blog! I hope you had as much fun bringing in the new year as I did! Good luck on your resolutions, and wish me luck on mine. I'm gonna need it!

Now, don't make fun of me for my lack of commitment, but I already broke one of my resolutions. I didn't take a nice picture today. However, I am posting some pictures from my New Year's celebration. Tomorrow I will start the real thing.


Oh yeah, and here is something that I did with Photo Shop. Its super easy, but I think it's cool.

Out with the old and everything that ended with 2009, in with the new and everything that 2010 and this new decade brings!!!!

1 comment:

nikol said...

1. love love love gloriana wild at heart.

2. love love LOVE your photo-a-day resolution. we should totally start a shared photo blog, even if no one looks at it. it could be fun. we could try to post a photo a day.

good luck this year, rachel! you're going to do great!!