I don't wanna grow up

The second star to the right
Shines in the night for you
To tell you that the dreams you plan
Really can come true

This past weekend was so much fun! I got to hang out with all of my best friends and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Friday I had dinner with Kat, then got to watch Definitely Maybe with Nikol, Kat, and Jessica.

Saturday I got to hang out with Christine and Steph during the day. I also got to get ready with Steph, Christine, Jessica, Nikol, and Kat for the Dirty Disney party at Beta. My room mates and I were Lost Boys from Peter Pan, Kat was Alice from Alice in Wonderland, Jess was Belle from Beauty and the Beast, and Nikol was Mrs. Incredible (Robert was her matching "Mr. Incredible" ... very fitting) Despite the fact that I have bruises on my body, my shoes are caked in mud, i have a bruise on my head from hitting it last night when I was going to bed, and I can't move my arm because my shoulder hurts SO FREAKING MUCH, last night was so much fun! Here are a few pictures:

 Lost Girls

 

Dirty Disney

Me and Kat

Me and Nikol

Alice, Lost Girls, Mrs. Incredible, Belle 

The fact that the three of us were Lost Girls was so fitting because Peter Pan is one of my favorite movies of all time. When I got sick when I was little and my dad would stay home with me from work, I used to make him watch Peter Pan on repeat ALL DAY!! What a dedicated and loving father I have. Because of that, I can probably recite the entire movie. Oh wait, did I mention that I was Tinkerbell for Halloween in 8th grade? Or that I have the entire Peter Pan sound track on my iPod? Well, I was, and I do.

Today is Maryn's birthday so I got to go to Hannah and Caroline's apartment and celebrate with the three of them while we ate Pita Pit and chocolate chip cookies. It was nice and relaxing.

The other day I checked my MySpace for the first time in months/years. Beyond reading my entire blog that I had posted on that (more on that in another post), I also looked at all the pictures and videos I have posted on my page. Here is a quick glimpse into 17-year-old me and what I had on my MySpace page:

This video still gives me chills. I love it! "The Kiss" from The Notebook

 

Me and the girls I grew up with at my mom's wedding sophomore year of high school

  

Me and my junior prom date, Garrett, before the dance. (I wasn't dating him, he was one of my good friends' boyfriends. I just borrowed him for the night because they went to a different school and he was a year older.)

My profile picture (my sister and I in Turks and Caicos on Thanksgiving during my senior year of high school)

 

Senior year Halloween with my best friend, Katelin (one of my only best friends that I DIDN'T see this weekend!).  She was a butterfly, I was a lady bug

Me and Danielle. I've known her my entire life. We even lived two houses away when we were growing up!

 

Me, Amanda, Emily, Courtney, and Ali when we got evicted on our senior trip to Hawaii after graduation.

My senior portrait

*Thank you Nikol and Christine for the Dirty Disney pictures!

Winnie's words of wisdom

If you live to be 100, I hope to live to be 100 minus one day so I never have to live without you.
-Winnie the Pooh

That's right, this is my 100th blog post, and one month shy of exactly a year since I really started writing here!! Naturally, I'm celebrating it by sitting on Nikol and Kat's couch, watching Definitely Maybe (Ryan Reynolds is HOT), eating popcorn (of course) and hanging out with Nikol, Kat, and Jess. Did I mention we're all comfy in our sweats? Oh, and that it's Friday night? Haha it's okay, these are the night that I absolutely love. I've missed these girls. This is the first night I've had to hang out with them since I've been back and I am so happy to be here.

There have been big changed in my life within the past two weeks, and I figure this blog is as good as any to post about them.

1. I dropped my business minor. I would have had to take way too many units each quarter to graduate on time, and it wasn't worth it to me. I ran around the journalism department talking to my adviser, the head of the department, as well as the public relations guru (yes, Professor Swanson is a guru in my book), and after I talked to Swanson I felt I had a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders. He told me that I needed work experience, that I would go crazy taking that many units (it would have been 22 units this quarter) , and that I am in college and should spend my time having fun, not just bogged down with class and homework all the time. Great advice!!

2. So not only did I drop my business minor, I got a job in the business dean's office (a job that I wouldn't be able to have if I was a minor). I work for the event coordinator so I get to be part in the planning and organization of alumni events and special speakers in the college of business. This means I will be making and saving money.

3. Don't worry, I still have my Spanish minor. Although I'm struggling a bit with my class (it is a Spanish literature class), for one hour every Monday through Thursday I get to hear the language and speak the language and in a weird way, it makes me feel like I'm home. There are 9 of us in that class who went to Spain, so I don't have to go too far out of my way to see them. It's nice, and comforting.

4. I am OKAY being single. I'm actually having time to myself and time to spend with friends and all of that. It really is great. Not that I don't get lonely, but I am okay for right now.

Anyway, I'm glad I have this blog as an outlet. I hope that I keep growing and changing and accomplishing whatever it is I'm supposed to accomplish at this point. I have no idea what that is. I still have no idea who I am, but I hope to find myself eventually. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. In any case, thank you for being along for the ride. Thank you for reading my blog for the past 100 posts, I hope you will stay around for the next hundred so you can see me grow. Sometimes I think it's easier to see the changes in others than it is to see them in yourself.

When I was little, my mom would read me stories from Winnie the Pooh. I have a collection of hard cover, old fashioned Winnie the Pooh books, the kind that you don't appreciate until you are all grown up and realize how much of a blessing those things are. He, Piglet, and the whole gang are some of my favorite cartoon characters. They are inspiring and really help us to stay young at heart. The stories (especially the old ones), despite the young appearance, show us how to imagine, and impart great wisdom on us through their words and love for each other. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true.

As a parting thought, I'd like to ask you this question: How have you seen me change within the past year? How have you seen me grow since I've known you? How have YOU changed within the past year? How have you grown? I want to hear those things, because sometimes I feel as though I haven't changed. Sometimes it feels like I haven't grown. I think reflection is so important.

If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think, but the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you. - Winnie the Pooh

Promise me you'll never forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave. - Winnie the Pooh

 

In the words of Eeyore, "Thanks for noticing little me." 

 

what love sounds like

This past weekend I got to drive down to Redlands to hang out with my family and see my big sister, Caitlin, sing in her senior recital. On Friday it took me SIX HOURS to get down there (normally it's only four and a half), but it was so nice once I made it

Saturday was full of preparation for Caitlin's recital. We went to the party supply store, BevMo, Khols, and Caitlin gave me and Liana a tour of Redlands (don't ask me how she had time for that). I spent the entire day hanging out with Liana, and I got to also spend time with my other sisters and family members.

That night was Caitlin's recital. Let me tell you, Caitlin sounded absolutely AMAZING and she looked beautiful too! I couldn't take pictures during the performance because it is too distracting, but take my word for it, she looked stunning and so classy standing up there singing beautiful songs next to that grand piano. When she started singing I got tears in my eyes.

So many people from our family came down to Southern California to see her perform. It was wonderful! Our whole family (sisters, parents and step parents), Aunt Kathe, Carol, Auntie Sharon, Uncle Bobbie, and our cousin Anthony all came to see her perform. We have such an amazing and supportive family, I couldn't ask for anything more. It was so fun to go to dinner with them all and hear what is new in everybody's lives.

Saturday night Kelley, Anthony, and I headed over to Caitlin's apartment for wine and good laughs. We had so much fun! Her friends are so funny and we had so much fun talking about the most random stuff like the awkward arm conversation: little spoon vs big spoon and what you do with the extra arm that has nowhere to go.

Anyway, I'm so glad that I had a wonderful weekend down at Redlands. I can't wait to go back and visit everybody down there for graduation. They are all so fantastic. Here are some pictures (seven to be exact) of my trip down there..

Classic sister pose...

Caitlin's roses ... beautiful, just like her voice

Joseph, Miranda, Brenda and Caitlin. Brenda used to take care of Caitlin and Kelley (plus me and Liana sometimes) when they were little. Last time I saw these kids, Miranda was two!!

Me and my beautiful sisters!! I love them so much.

The entire family. And as nice as Dave and Laura are, they are my step sister's other family and it was kinda awkward that I ended up standing next to them in the family picture... just sayin.

Alright, these ones aren't from Caitlin's recital, but I thought they were adorable and I just got them on my computer when I downloaded my pictures from this past weekend. This is my niece Madison Joy. She is a little over a year old and the cutest thing ever.

Maddie taking a nap on our way to lunch.

She looooves blowing kisses!! And we all loooove receiving them <3

I am so proud of my big sister and everything she has accomplished with her voice and in life and love her so much.

photo slacker

That's right, I'm a slacker. I haven't accomplished a single one of my new years resolutions this week. I have been dealing with a lot of school work and figuring out how many units is realistic to take and what I should do with the rest of my life and what I should minor in and where I should work and determining how much is too much and coming up with ways to stay sane for the next year and a half of my life until I graduate college and am thrown into the real world and how to be thrown into the real world without landing on my ass.... whew! More on that later...

Anyway, I know that one of my new years resolutions was to take a picture every day. As of right now, that doesn't seem possible, or even interesting. If I don't have a subject to take pictures of or something interesting to photograph, there is no point in posting a picture of my i-pod or my pencil or something just for the sake of taking a picture. So, I have changed my mentality about it. I have decided that each week I will post at least 7 pictures on here (the same number of pictures I would have taken if I was doing the "photo a day" thing). They will either be old pictures that I have stumbled upon which made me smile, PhotoShopped pictures that I have edited, pictures that I came across online, or photos I have taken. At least that will keep me on the photo path. I will try to make more time to go out and do photo shoots. I will discover new places and new things and new people. I will document my life through pictures because I like taking them, not because I feel obligated to. I have already learned so much about PhotoShop in my graphic communications class, and I look forward to showing you what I can do!

So, on that note, I would like to introduce you to my first set of photographs for your enjoyment. Generally I will post these blogs on Sundays, but I didn't get a chance yesterday because I was working on homework and all that stuff. This blog will include 10 photos (because yesterday was the tenth of January and I'm supposed to do a photo a day), and the ones here on out will include seven (one for each day of the week).

These are my ten favorite photos from my trip to Spain. If you have any advice on composition or coloring, please let me know. Like I said, I'm an amateur and I would like to improve in any way possible. Maybe you've seen them before (I think I've posted a couple before this), maybe you haven't, but either way I hope you enjoy looking at these as much as I enjoyed taking them!

January 1 (originally shot September 27, 009): Valle de los Caidos, Spain

January 2 (originally shot September 27, 2009): El Escorial, Spain

 

January 3 (originally shot October 3, 2009): Burgos, Spain

 

January 4 (originally shot October 11, 2009): Mediterranean Ocean, Barcelona, Spain

In this photo: Maryn Anderson

 

 January 5 (originally shot October 24, 2009): Zurich, Switzerland

In this photo: John Egan

 

 January 6 (originally shot October 31, 2009): La Alhambra, Granada, Spain

 

January 7 (originally shot October 31, 2009): La Alhambra, Granada, Spain

 

 January 8 (originally shot November 8, 2009): Market in Valladolid, Spain

 

January 9 (originally shot November 25, 2009): Campo Grande, Valladolid, Spain

 

January 10 (originally shot December 4, 2009): the Colosseum, Rome, Italy

 

Just so you know... picking 10 of my favorite pictures was really tough! I started out with 26 and I had to cut it down... so hard. If you want to see more, let me know! I am still trying to figure out my own personal style and everything. A lot of these, like the last one, would have been easier to shoot with a tripod (which I now have).

leeway

Can I have some leeway on my new years resolutions???

I've kinda been slacking on the photo thing... just getting my life set up  here.

Cut me some slack?

out with the old...

Wow, I can't believe it's not only the beginning of a new year, but a new decade as well! Of course, this is going to be one of those stereotypical "New Year, New Me!" posts but hey, we've all gotta do it. It's weird, though, because I not only need to reflect on my past year, but the past ten years of my life!

The past decade has been... interesting to say the least. I had some pretty tough times and I can't say that I am sad to move on. I rang in the new millennium at a huge party with our family friends like we always did for the new year. Although everybody, for some reason, thought that the world was going to end, we came into 2000 without a glitch. In 2001 I lost my aunt and my grandmother. On top of that, September 11 happened and all the repercussion of that. After all of that, my mom and future step father moved us out so that I could be closer to my dad and go to a good high school. Starting a new school (again) was tough, but I made a group of friends who I spent a long time with. High school was hard. I wouldn't hesitate to say that I had one of the worst high school experiences out of anybody I know. I made mistakes, lost friends to fights and to car accidents, and when I graduated in 2007, I couldn't have been happier to walk across that stage in my cap and gown. College thus far has been a blast, although there have definitely been issues, heart break, but also happiness and fun.

The past year has been a roller coaster as well. There have been times when I cried myself to sleep, stayed up until the early hours of the morning laughing with friends, and stress over school, family, and friends. I spent the better half of the year freaking out and having anxiety attacks about going to Spain, and ended up making the leap and flying half way around the world to experience something magical. I took a few steps forward to figure out who I am, but also have so many new questions about where I'm going and who I want to be. I guess that's life.

On my drive down to SLO yesterday, the song "Wild at Heart" by Gloriana came on the radio. It was kinda the theme song of my summer this past year. Christine and I listened to it all the time. When that song came on, I just started crying. I have no idea why, but my mind flashed to the past ten years, the past 12 months, and everything that I have been through, accomplished, and experienced. I can't even say what it was about that song, but I literally started bawling. I just looked up the lyrics and I feel like they are so important for what I want to do with my life for the next year, decade, and my life.

"I ain't here to do anything half way

Don't give a damn what anyone might say

I just want to free fall for a while!"

I'm not saying that the next 10 years will be perfect. But I really am hoping they are better than the past 10 years. There will, of course, be breakups, lost friends, and pain, but there will also be happiness and new experiences. There will be new friends, new opportunities, and wonderful things to look forward to.

I have been thinking a lot about my resolutions for this year. I don't know how realistic they are, but I am going to try. I guess that's what resolutions are for - to attempt to be a better person and all that good stuff. I am going to print them out and post them in my room so I remember them all! Anyway, here they are.

1. I'm going to stop biting my nails! I know, I know, this is ALWAYS the first resolution on my list, but this year I'm going to do it!

2. I am going to focus on my grades and work really hard. This quarter I am taking 21units, but I am still hoping to find some sort of job and spend time with my friends and all that. I want this resolution to go beyond this quarter, though, so I will hopefully do well in my classes this year, and get a good internship this summer!

3. I am going to try not to freak out so much like I did this past year. Although I do not have a huge trip to go on (like Spain this year), I tend to get really obsessive, anxious, and freaked out about a lot of things. I am going to stop doing that. It is not healthy, I hate how I act when I get like that, and I know that I am not very much fun when I am like that.

4. Going along with the last resolution, I am going to try to let go of the things that I can't control. Those are the things that make me anxious the most, and I need to stop letting them affect me so much.

5. I am going to get back in shape. I am going to start running, or going to the gym, or just doing sit ups and push ups every night. I have gotten very lazy and I am self conscious about the way I look right now, so I am going to get back in the shape I was in a few years ago. This also includes eating healthy and not snacking on bad food like I always do.

6. I am going to be better with my money. I am going to save as much as I can, and not eat dinner out so much. I am going to not buy frivolous things and really consider my purchases. Now, that doesn't mean I won't spend ANY money, but I really do need to keep money in my bank account so I have it for the future and things that I really want to spend money on. (Not to mention that I need to pay my dad back for the money he lent me while I was in Spain!)

7. This is a fun one. I got the idea from Helena while we were still in Spain. This year, I am going to take one picture a day. I really want to get better with my photography skills, and I think this is a really good way to do it! I got Photo Shop for Christmas, and I am hoping I can learn how to use it better and figure out how to do cool things with the thousands of pictures I have taken and will inevitably take. Now, I don't want crappy pictures like the ones that you take with your friends when you're at a party, I want good pictures that took a minute or two to set up and make look good. Maybe I won't set myself up to necessarily take a picture every day, but learning something new on Photo Shop also counts. At the end of each week, I will post my pictures from the week on my blog. I know it is kinda ambitious, but I think it could be really cool!

Along with the new me for this year, you may have noticed I'm giving my blog a new look. I figured it was time to try a different style. I am not sure if I'll keep it the way it is now, or change it in a bit when I find something I like better. But for now, enjoy!

I know there were more resolutions that I've thought of for myself, but right now I can't really think of them. I am tired and feel like I'm getting sick so I am going to go to sleep. Tomorrow is a big day, I have to get my room set up after being gone for 3 months, put away my clothes, clean up the house/dishes from today and last night, and hopefully see friends! I need to go grocery shopping, figure out what text books I need for my classes, and read the syllabi for my classes.

I can't wait to get this quarter going and see what 2010 has in store for me!

Happy new year to all of you who may (or may not) be reading my blog! I hope you had as much fun bringing in the new year as I did! Good luck on your resolutions, and wish me luck on mine. I'm gonna need it!

Now, don't make fun of me for my lack of commitment, but I already broke one of my resolutions. I didn't take a nice picture today. However, I am posting some pictures from my New Year's celebration. Tomorrow I will start the real thing.

 

 

Oh yeah, and here is something that I did with Photo Shop. Its super easy, but I think it's cool.

Out with the old and everything that ended with 2009, in with the new and everything that 2010 and this new decade brings!!!!